Sunglasses and a Notebook

[twentyeytako]

Sunglasses and a Notebook
title: sunglasses and a notebook
pairing:RYODA
rating:PG
summary: ryo is looking for his missing sunglasses when he cam across his ex-lovers notebook.

A/N: what can I say, I' hooked to wrriting RYODA nowadays. I'm completely having an AKAME writers block.


It has already been an hour since Ryo started looking for his lost sunglasses. He left it yesterday when NEWS went to a photoshoot. Yamapi was staring at him the whole time.

"Ryo-chan, can you please sit down? Seeing you walk around the room cursing makes me dizzy." Yamapi said
"If you're helping me look for my sunglasses, You won't feel dizzy. Get your lazy ass off that couch." Ryo said
"Mou~! But I'm tired. I need a rest. Why do you need your sunglasses anyway? It's already afternoon. The sun will set in a few hours."
"Tss... I need that for tomorrow, baka!"
"Don't you have any other sunglasses? I know, I'll give you one. here" Yamapi took his sunglsses from his back and handed it to Ryo.
"I don't want yours. I have mine. It's just misplaced." Ryo said.

Yamapi sighed and just let Ryo continue looking. He just closed his eyes so he won't see him.

"Oi! Ryo-chan! wat'ya doin'?" Koyama entered the room and behind him were the rest of NEWS.
"I'm looking for something." Ryo said
"Ohhhh...what is it Ryo-chan?" tegoshi asked
"Hmmm? My favorite sungalsses. I know I left it here yesterday."
"Is that the one you were wearing when you came yesterday?" Massu asked
"Ah...hai.. seen it?"
"No. I just saw it yesterday when you were wearing it. ehehehe..."
"AH! HAI! HAI!" tegoshi raised his hand looking excited.

"What is it Tegoshi?" Koyama asked
"I saw it Ryo-chan!!!" Tegoshi said excitedly.
"Hontou ni? Where is it then?"

"Jin-kun got it last night." Tegoshi said
"What?"
"Jin-kun got it. He came to see you last night but you already left and then he saw it on the table and got it." Tegoshi explained

Before Tegoshi finish explaining, Ryo dashed out of the room to go to KAT-TUN's dressing room.

"AKANISHI!" Ryo yelled while running on the hallway.

When he reached KAT-TUN's room, he didn't bother knocking. He just let himself in.

"JIN!" Ryo called his friend but no one answered.

Ryo looked inside the room and it seems like no one from KAT-TUN was in. He approached KAT-TUN's schedule board to see where the members were and it says

there that today and tomorrow is KAT-TUN's official day off.

"UGH! Where the hell did that bakanishi placed my sunglasses?" Ryo asked as he sat on KAT-TUN's couch.

He sighed.

It's been a year since he last sat on this couch. It's been a year since he's been to this room too. Since that day, he never went back to this room. Whenever he needs Jin, he'll call his friend and ask him to go to their room instead.

Nothing changed in the room. It was still a little messy but the atmosphere was relaxing. The members things were scattered all over the place. Ryo can see Jin and Kame's clothes in one corner. Jin's guitar was on the table. Junno's games were on the shelf. koki and Maru's things were also there. Then, in one corner of the room, the one place that is not trashed, a pile of song sheets can be seen. A blue guitar was also there. There's only one person in KAT-TUN who's neat. Ueda Tatsuya. KAT-TUN's U, KAT-TUN's ex-leader, Ryo's ex-lover.

Ueda was the reason why Ryo can't come to KAT-TUN's room like before. Since the day they broke up, Ryo vowed never to come there. He never wanted to see the place where he and Ueda used to spend time together. He doesn't want to see Ueda.

Ryo unconsciously stood up and walked over to that corner of the room. He took the guitar and strarted playing it. It has been a year since he played that guitar but it feels like he's been using it everyday. It still sounded the same and it still feels perfect in his hands. He stopped playing when he noticed something laying on the desk along with the song sheets. It was a hard bound notebook that Ryo has never seen before. curious, he took it and ipened it.

at the front page it says:

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STILL ESCAPE THIS SADNESS SINCE BEING TOGETHER WITH YOU IS THE HAPPIEST MEMORY IN MY LIFE.

Curiosity took over him and he turned to the next page.

I thought love can save us

But I was wrong. I thought love can melt the pain we were both feeling but then, when everything ended, I realized that pain can melt the love no matter how great it is.

Time can heal all wounds, time can give me another chance, time can help me forget and time can let me move on but time can never give back what has already ended.

I can't believe everything really ended between us. People around me say that I can forget about you but I know it's impossible. I know you are the first and last person I am going to love in my life and now that that love has ended, all I can do is wish for it to come back though I know it's impossible.


If love can be avoided just by closing ones eyes, I would spend the rest of my life sleeping.

I don't know if I can love another person the way I loved you. It hurts me to see you each and everyday knowing that I won't be able to touch you again. If it's true that I can avoid love by closing my eyes, I will do it. I want to avoid the pain so much but when I tried it, all I can see in my head is YOU. Tell me, how can I ever forget about you?

Ryo closed the notebook and examined it. It doesn't have a name on it but Ryo already has an idea on who might own it. He paused for a while. Will he continue reading Ueda's thoughts? He wants to know more so he continued.

Why, Ryo? Have you really gotten over me?

All I hear from Jin is what you whisper in her ear.
That all he hears you say is how much ou want her near.
I wanted to cry when I heard those things from that stupid Jin because all I ever wanted was for you to love me and only me.

 When love is lost, gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart heals

My mind tells me that I should be happy but my heart says the exact opposite. I heard she broke up with you for an unknown reason. I'm happy because I know that she will never be the one to make you happy but I'm sad because you have to go through a heartbreak all over again. I never want to see you hurt, Ryo. It makes me remember the way I hurt you back then.

 You are the reason why I have sleepless nights

I miss your kiss, your hug...
I miss your mere presence. Your arms around my waist, your lipd on my forehead as we sleep.
You are the reason I can't sleep and you are the one I think of when I lay down at night.
You are the reason why I tend to hug my pillow tight because it's the only way I can pretend that you're still here beside me.

You will always be in my heart

It is only now that I realized that loving you is like stepping on a wet cement. We stayed with each other for so long that it was hard for us to leave. What's more painful is that we've left too much memories with each other that was stuck in us forever.

I miss you... so much.

You're so far away from me though we're only meters apart.
the distance apart only strengthens your memory in my heart.
I know the reason why you don't go to our room anymore. I understand that.
I want to tell you that eventhough you're so far away, I think of you every day.


"Who's in here?" a voice called which surprised Ryo.

a few seconds later, Ueda emerged in the room.

"What are you doing here?" Ueda asked when he saw Ryo inside their room.

Ryo quickly hid the notebook behind his back.

"Uh... I was looking for Jin. Do you know where he is?" Ryo asked
"We have our off today. Why don't you just call him?" Ueda said.

He went to his corner of the room and grabbed his song sheets.

"Hmmm...where is it..." Ueda murmured to himself

He placed his song sheets on the table again then proceeded to look for his notebook.

"What are you doing?" Ryo asked, his hands still behind his back
"Looking for something."
"What is it?"
"None of your business."
"It's that important? Why don't you let me help you?"
"I said it's none of your business Ry--Nishikido."

Ryo watched as Ueda looked for his notebook.

"Are you looking for you notebook?" Ryo finally asked

Ueda quickly straightened himself and turned to Ryo.

"How did you know?"

Ryo just stared at him.

"Where is it? Give it back to me. It's very private."

Ryo slowly shoed Ueda what he was hiding behind his back.

Ueda grabbed the notebook from Ryo's hands and hugged it tight.

"Why do you have it?" Ueda asked. Tears forming in his eyes.
"I didn't mean to Ueda. I'm sorry."

Ueda sat on the couch still hugging his notebook and was crying.

"I..I've read everything. I'm sorry." Ryo said
"I'm pathetic right? It's been a year an still, all I think about is you. I still believe that you're the only person I'm going to love. I know I'm only

hurting myself more by continuing to love you but I still want to continue living like this."

Hearing Ueda say those words and remebering all the things he read from the notebook, Ryo's eyes start to water, his heart starts to hurt and his mind

started to wander.

Ueda raised his head when he heard Ryo sob.

"Why are you crying Nishikido?" Ueda asked

"Tatsuya..."

Ueda's heart beat raced. It's the first time in a year that Ryo called him Tatsuya.

"Tatsuya... I'm reall really sorry. I wasn't aware of the pain I caused you this past year. I'm sorry."
"Ryo..."
"And...and I'm sorry that it's only now that I've realized. Reading that notebook, All the memories with you came back. I realized that I do, and STILL and

deeply in love with you."

Ueda cried harder but now, he was crying because of happiness.He stood up and hugged Ryo tightly. RYo hugged him tightly in return.

"You don't know how much I really wanted to hear those words from you..." Ueda whispered to Ryo's ear.

Comments

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