when is it over?
Feb. 15th, 2009 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
twentyeytakotitle: when is it over?
pairing:RYODA
rating:PG13 i think? or PG? whatever.
summary: dunno how to summarize this. all i can say is, it's my failed attempt to angst.
A/N: i think this is the angsty-est fic i've done. i dunno what's gotten into me that i managed to write this. i'm really feeling happy this day so it's really weird for me to write an angsty fic. hope to read your comment. tell me what you think. thanks! :D
They were perfect for each other. they look good together, their hands fit together and when they kiss, their lips fit perfectly like a missing piece from a puzzle. Everyone around them thought that their love will last. That they'll be together forever. Some of their friends envied them because their relationship was perfect. Their personalitis balanced each other's. Ueda tamed ryo's poison tongue while ryo controlled ueda's temper. WHenever they're together, it's as if they glow. their smile shines like the sunshine and when they look into each other's eyes, you can feel that for them, the world stops and the only person that matters is the other.
No one saw it coming. Ryo and Ueda ended everything. The perfect couple was gone. No one knew why. They just stopped talking one day and after some time, they told everyone it was over. Neither of them answered their friends questions when they were asked why all of this was happening. That left everyone puzzled because it was not long ago that ryo and ueda were happy in each others arms and now, it's as if they never knew each other. They don't really avoid each other. both of them still join their friends when going out even if they know that the other one will be there. They just don't talk to each other that much.
It was after a few months that ueda heard the news about ryo's new girl. he wasn't angry at him but he admits that he was disappointed. though he knows that there's little chance of him and ryo being together again, he still hoped for it. that's also the reason why he doesn't take his dates seriously. he goes out once in a while with some girls but he just does this things to show ryo that he's moving on. he doesn't want ryo to be burdened just by thinking that he's the reason why ueda's been sad all this time. he wants ryo to find his own happiness. happiness that he was sure he can never give.
He was there when ryo brought his new girl to meet everyone. he was wearing a smile that he knows would let ryo feel that everything that was happening was okay to him. The girl obviously doesn't know anything about him and ryo's past. no one outside johnny's was supposed to know about what was happening inside the agency. when news leaks out, all of them will be in trouble.
He was keeping his smile the whole time the girl was there. he even managed to catch a short conversation with her. he was the one who excused himself after some time because he cannot bear talking to someone who owns ryo's heart.after talking to her, ueda completely understood why he and ryo can never be together.She was perfect.She was perfect for ryo. She was smart, beautiful and she has ryo.
he knew that sooner or later it would happen but the news still came as a shock. he was speechless and was close to crying when kame mailed him the invitation. he read and re-read it a hundred times. nishikido ryo is getting married in a few months. on the exact same day they were supposed to celebrate their anniversary. he looked closely at the photo of ryo and her wife-to-be. they really looked perfect for each other. he took out another photo. it was his favorite photo with ryo. ryo's smile in that photo was the best thing and you can see how ueda admired that smile. when he compared the two photos, he immediately saw the difference. This time, this moment, the smile on ryo's face isn't meant for him. it's for somebody else and all ueda has is the memory that once in his life, that smile was meant for him.
days after ryo's wedding announcement, ueda took a leave. it was said that he would be gone for two months to take care of some family business. no one knew where he was going. he just called kame and maru and told him about his leave and just said he'll definitely be back. his friends let him be thinking that ueda needs some time alone to think. while he was gone, preparations for ryo's wedding continued and everyone were excited for the occasion. ueda on the other hand kept himself busy abroad. he asked his father to send him to america to deal with one of their clients. this being the first time he asked to be involved in the family business, his father agreed. talking to clients and doing some paper works helped him get ryo out of his head for some time but at the end of the day, when he's going to bed, everything comes back to him. those memories of him being with ryo should make him feel happy but they don't. right now, they feel like nightmares haunting him and all he wants to do is escape from it.
though still not over the news about ryo's wedding, ueda still decided to come back and attend the ceremony. kame asked him not to go and maru told him he'll sacrifice not attending the wedding just to accompany him during that day but ueda still insisted. he said that ryo is still his "friend" and he should be there during that special day. he already prepared himself for the worst. He told himself that after that day, ryo officially belongs to someone else and that person has the right to love ryo and to have his love. he already let himself cry days before the wedding so as to lessen the pain that might trigger his tears when the wedding comes.
the day has finally come. the day ryo will belong to someone else and the day that told ueda that ryo has really gotten over him and has learned to love someone else. he stood outside the church and stared at it until kame called him inside. ueda sat beside kat-tun. they were seated at the front row together with news. ueda looked at the decorations inside the church. red roses, red carpet, red ribbons tied on the candles. funny how the color accent inside was red. ueda's favorite color. he was brought back by the sound of the piano playing. somehow, the song sounds familiar. after a few more notes, ueda recognized the song. it was his. he wrote that song for ryo a few years back. hearing that song playing in the wedding sent a pain in his heart. his first instinct was to run away but kame was faster. his friend held his arm and asked him not to go.he fixed his suit and stayed in his seat. it was time for the bride to walk down the aisle so everyone turned their backs to welcome her. as expected, she was beautiful. her white gown fitted her perfectly, he hair was done beautifully. she walked like a princess. a princess who had her prince waiting for her at the end of the aisle. another thing caught ueda's eye. the flower that the bride was holding. they were white lilies. his favorite flowers. the flowers that ryo would give him each and everytime they see each other when they were still together.the pain he was feeling intensified and he really wanted to run away but kame and maru begged him and asked him to stay. though it was hard for him, he stayed. he knew that they were right. if he left, he will only cause a commotion.
he managed to finish the ceremony though he was stopping himself from crying the whole time. after the ceremony, kame and maru asked him to go with them to the party. he again agreed. thinking he has surpassed the wedding without shedding a single drop of tear, the party won't be that bad. he ate and drank with everyone else. he was even starting to laugh at his friends jokes. when it was time to dance, he excused himself and went to the garden outside. he thought it would be better if he doesn't see ryo and his wife dancing and smiling at each other. he'd spare himself from more pain.
he stared at the moonlight and sighed. he closed his eyes and tried to think of happy memories that doesn;t involve ryo but he failed. everything happy in his life involved ryo.
*ehem
ueda turned to see who it was.
"ryo..." he said once he saw ryo standing a few feet away from him
"why did you come?" ryo asked
"what?" ueda couldn't believe at what ryo just asked him
"why ueda? why did you come?"
"you sent me an invitation. i have to come, right?" ueda said
"i thought you would never think of coming to my wedding" ryo said
"what? come on ryo. it's not like we didn't---"
"i thought you said before that we should think that none of those things happened. that we should forget about everything that involved the two of us."
ueda stared aat ryo and he did the same hing to ueda. after a few moments, ueda laughed.
"what's so funny tatsuya?" ryo asked
"so i can say now that you've already forgotten all about our past?"
"yes."
"everything nishikido? you've forgotten about everything?"
ryo didn't answer.
ueda continued to laugh but the tears also started to pour out of his eyes unconsciously.
"you say you've forgotten nishikido? if you've forgotten, you wouldn't have done this things!"
ueda was crying his heart out now. he doesn't care what ryo will think about him now
"You used my favorite color as an accent on the decorations for your wedding ceremony...You used my favorite flowers and had your bride carry it on her bouquet...and what's worse, you used the song that i wrote for you for your wedding march and used the date of our anniversary for your weddding date... now tell me ryo, are you sure you've forgotten everything that happened to us?"
ryo still stood there and didn't answer.
"you don't know how much pain i'm going through ryo... seing you getting married to another person. realizing you're no longer mine and that you belong to somebody else. you don't know how hurt i am. how much i wanted to cry and tell you all this things but i can't because i was thinking of your happiness. i was afraid that you would be guilty if you saw me like this. that's the reason i always looked strong in front of you. even if you forgot about me, i never stopped caring for you..."
ryo was starting to cry too. ueda sank down on his knees and continued to sob.
"why did you have to do this? why did you have to make me feel like this on your wedding day? just when i already prepared myself to seeing you off, you did all of these and made me feel worse." ueda said
"you don't understand a thing tatsuya... you never understand anything that i do..." ryo said trying to talk clearly while crying
ueda didn't look up to ryo and continued to cry.
" do you wanna know why i did those things? why i used the color red? why i asked her to have white lilies in her bouquet? why i chose that song for my wedding march and why i had our anniversary as our wedding date? do you really want to know tatsuya?"
ryo paused and tried to stop crying.
"because, tatsuya, using your favorite color reminded me of how beautiful you are as a person. white lilies reminded me of your beautiful face whenever i give them to you. the song you wrote me remind me of your voice which never fails to make me happy and the day of our anniversary reminds me that i was yours. i did all this things because...because this is the only way i can pretend that you are my bride. that you are the one i'm marrying and that you are the one i'm spending the rest of my life with. believe me tatsuya, until the last second, i was hoping that you would stop all of this. it was in your hands. if you wanted me, i would be yours but you never said anything. i was ready to leave her for you. all you had to do was ask me tatsuya but you chose to be alone."
ueda couldn't belive what he was hearing. all he wanted was for ryo to be happy but why does it feel like it was all his fault? it was his fault that both of them are unhappy with their life.
ryo wiped his tears away and straightened his suit.
"i guess everything between us is really over now tatsuya. i guess you were the one who was ready to forget me. i understand now tatsuya. i would try to move on and live a happy life with my wife just like you wanted me to." ryo said
after saying those words, ryo left tatsuya alone and went back to his new wife.
thinking of what ryo just said, ueda continued to cry his heart out. he cried like there was nothing left to do. he doesn't care if his eyes get swollen tomorrow. he just wants to cry all the hurt he's feeling.
once inside, ryo approached his new wife and danced with her. he looked into her eyes then he started to cry again. his wife, seeing him cry, thought it was because of too much happiness due to the wedding but what she doesn't know, those tears were because of the fact that starting today, he and ueda can never really be together.
pairing:RYODA
rating:PG13 i think? or PG? whatever.
summary: dunno how to summarize this. all i can say is, it's my failed attempt to angst.
A/N: i think this is the angsty-est fic i've done. i dunno what's gotten into me that i managed to write this. i'm really feeling happy this day so it's really weird for me to write an angsty fic. hope to read your comment. tell me what you think. thanks! :D
They were perfect for each other. they look good together, their hands fit together and when they kiss, their lips fit perfectly like a missing piece from a puzzle. Everyone around them thought that their love will last. That they'll be together forever. Some of their friends envied them because their relationship was perfect. Their personalitis balanced each other's. Ueda tamed ryo's poison tongue while ryo controlled ueda's temper. WHenever they're together, it's as if they glow. their smile shines like the sunshine and when they look into each other's eyes, you can feel that for them, the world stops and the only person that matters is the other.
No one saw it coming. Ryo and Ueda ended everything. The perfect couple was gone. No one knew why. They just stopped talking one day and after some time, they told everyone it was over. Neither of them answered their friends questions when they were asked why all of this was happening. That left everyone puzzled because it was not long ago that ryo and ueda were happy in each others arms and now, it's as if they never knew each other. They don't really avoid each other. both of them still join their friends when going out even if they know that the other one will be there. They just don't talk to each other that much.
It was after a few months that ueda heard the news about ryo's new girl. he wasn't angry at him but he admits that he was disappointed. though he knows that there's little chance of him and ryo being together again, he still hoped for it. that's also the reason why he doesn't take his dates seriously. he goes out once in a while with some girls but he just does this things to show ryo that he's moving on. he doesn't want ryo to be burdened just by thinking that he's the reason why ueda's been sad all this time. he wants ryo to find his own happiness. happiness that he was sure he can never give.
He was there when ryo brought his new girl to meet everyone. he was wearing a smile that he knows would let ryo feel that everything that was happening was okay to him. The girl obviously doesn't know anything about him and ryo's past. no one outside johnny's was supposed to know about what was happening inside the agency. when news leaks out, all of them will be in trouble.
He was keeping his smile the whole time the girl was there. he even managed to catch a short conversation with her. he was the one who excused himself after some time because he cannot bear talking to someone who owns ryo's heart.after talking to her, ueda completely understood why he and ryo can never be together.She was perfect.She was perfect for ryo. She was smart, beautiful and she has ryo.
he knew that sooner or later it would happen but the news still came as a shock. he was speechless and was close to crying when kame mailed him the invitation. he read and re-read it a hundred times. nishikido ryo is getting married in a few months. on the exact same day they were supposed to celebrate their anniversary. he looked closely at the photo of ryo and her wife-to-be. they really looked perfect for each other. he took out another photo. it was his favorite photo with ryo. ryo's smile in that photo was the best thing and you can see how ueda admired that smile. when he compared the two photos, he immediately saw the difference. This time, this moment, the smile on ryo's face isn't meant for him. it's for somebody else and all ueda has is the memory that once in his life, that smile was meant for him.
days after ryo's wedding announcement, ueda took a leave. it was said that he would be gone for two months to take care of some family business. no one knew where he was going. he just called kame and maru and told him about his leave and just said he'll definitely be back. his friends let him be thinking that ueda needs some time alone to think. while he was gone, preparations for ryo's wedding continued and everyone were excited for the occasion. ueda on the other hand kept himself busy abroad. he asked his father to send him to america to deal with one of their clients. this being the first time he asked to be involved in the family business, his father agreed. talking to clients and doing some paper works helped him get ryo out of his head for some time but at the end of the day, when he's going to bed, everything comes back to him. those memories of him being with ryo should make him feel happy but they don't. right now, they feel like nightmares haunting him and all he wants to do is escape from it.
though still not over the news about ryo's wedding, ueda still decided to come back and attend the ceremony. kame asked him not to go and maru told him he'll sacrifice not attending the wedding just to accompany him during that day but ueda still insisted. he said that ryo is still his "friend" and he should be there during that special day. he already prepared himself for the worst. He told himself that after that day, ryo officially belongs to someone else and that person has the right to love ryo and to have his love. he already let himself cry days before the wedding so as to lessen the pain that might trigger his tears when the wedding comes.
the day has finally come. the day ryo will belong to someone else and the day that told ueda that ryo has really gotten over him and has learned to love someone else. he stood outside the church and stared at it until kame called him inside. ueda sat beside kat-tun. they were seated at the front row together with news. ueda looked at the decorations inside the church. red roses, red carpet, red ribbons tied on the candles. funny how the color accent inside was red. ueda's favorite color. he was brought back by the sound of the piano playing. somehow, the song sounds familiar. after a few more notes, ueda recognized the song. it was his. he wrote that song for ryo a few years back. hearing that song playing in the wedding sent a pain in his heart. his first instinct was to run away but kame was faster. his friend held his arm and asked him not to go.he fixed his suit and stayed in his seat. it was time for the bride to walk down the aisle so everyone turned their backs to welcome her. as expected, she was beautiful. her white gown fitted her perfectly, he hair was done beautifully. she walked like a princess. a princess who had her prince waiting for her at the end of the aisle. another thing caught ueda's eye. the flower that the bride was holding. they were white lilies. his favorite flowers. the flowers that ryo would give him each and everytime they see each other when they were still together.the pain he was feeling intensified and he really wanted to run away but kame and maru begged him and asked him to stay. though it was hard for him, he stayed. he knew that they were right. if he left, he will only cause a commotion.
he managed to finish the ceremony though he was stopping himself from crying the whole time. after the ceremony, kame and maru asked him to go with them to the party. he again agreed. thinking he has surpassed the wedding without shedding a single drop of tear, the party won't be that bad. he ate and drank with everyone else. he was even starting to laugh at his friends jokes. when it was time to dance, he excused himself and went to the garden outside. he thought it would be better if he doesn't see ryo and his wife dancing and smiling at each other. he'd spare himself from more pain.
he stared at the moonlight and sighed. he closed his eyes and tried to think of happy memories that doesn;t involve ryo but he failed. everything happy in his life involved ryo.
*ehem
ueda turned to see who it was.
"ryo..." he said once he saw ryo standing a few feet away from him
"why did you come?" ryo asked
"what?" ueda couldn't believe at what ryo just asked him
"why ueda? why did you come?"
"you sent me an invitation. i have to come, right?" ueda said
"i thought you would never think of coming to my wedding" ryo said
"what? come on ryo. it's not like we didn't---"
"i thought you said before that we should think that none of those things happened. that we should forget about everything that involved the two of us."
ueda stared aat ryo and he did the same hing to ueda. after a few moments, ueda laughed.
"what's so funny tatsuya?" ryo asked
"so i can say now that you've already forgotten all about our past?"
"yes."
"everything nishikido? you've forgotten about everything?"
ryo didn't answer.
ueda continued to laugh but the tears also started to pour out of his eyes unconsciously.
"you say you've forgotten nishikido? if you've forgotten, you wouldn't have done this things!"
ueda was crying his heart out now. he doesn't care what ryo will think about him now
"You used my favorite color as an accent on the decorations for your wedding ceremony...You used my favorite flowers and had your bride carry it on her bouquet...and what's worse, you used the song that i wrote for you for your wedding march and used the date of our anniversary for your weddding date... now tell me ryo, are you sure you've forgotten everything that happened to us?"
ryo still stood there and didn't answer.
"you don't know how much pain i'm going through ryo... seing you getting married to another person. realizing you're no longer mine and that you belong to somebody else. you don't know how hurt i am. how much i wanted to cry and tell you all this things but i can't because i was thinking of your happiness. i was afraid that you would be guilty if you saw me like this. that's the reason i always looked strong in front of you. even if you forgot about me, i never stopped caring for you..."
ryo was starting to cry too. ueda sank down on his knees and continued to sob.
"why did you have to do this? why did you have to make me feel like this on your wedding day? just when i already prepared myself to seeing you off, you did all of these and made me feel worse." ueda said
"you don't understand a thing tatsuya... you never understand anything that i do..." ryo said trying to talk clearly while crying
ueda didn't look up to ryo and continued to cry.
" do you wanna know why i did those things? why i used the color red? why i asked her to have white lilies in her bouquet? why i chose that song for my wedding march and why i had our anniversary as our wedding date? do you really want to know tatsuya?"
ryo paused and tried to stop crying.
"because, tatsuya, using your favorite color reminded me of how beautiful you are as a person. white lilies reminded me of your beautiful face whenever i give them to you. the song you wrote me remind me of your voice which never fails to make me happy and the day of our anniversary reminds me that i was yours. i did all this things because...because this is the only way i can pretend that you are my bride. that you are the one i'm marrying and that you are the one i'm spending the rest of my life with. believe me tatsuya, until the last second, i was hoping that you would stop all of this. it was in your hands. if you wanted me, i would be yours but you never said anything. i was ready to leave her for you. all you had to do was ask me tatsuya but you chose to be alone."
ueda couldn't belive what he was hearing. all he wanted was for ryo to be happy but why does it feel like it was all his fault? it was his fault that both of them are unhappy with their life.
ryo wiped his tears away and straightened his suit.
"i guess everything between us is really over now tatsuya. i guess you were the one who was ready to forget me. i understand now tatsuya. i would try to move on and live a happy life with my wife just like you wanted me to." ryo said
after saying those words, ryo left tatsuya alone and went back to his new wife.
thinking of what ryo just said, ueda continued to cry his heart out. he cried like there was nothing left to do. he doesn't care if his eyes get swollen tomorrow. he just wants to cry all the hurt he's feeling.
once inside, ryo approached his new wife and danced with her. he looked into her eyes then he started to cry again. his wife, seeing him cry, thought it was because of too much happiness due to the wedding but what she doesn't know, those tears were because of the fact that starting today, he and ueda can never really be together.
